11 ways to manage the blues
Hi there,
Here's a post to help you manage the blues, which may be amplified by Covid-19 and the circuit breaker.
This post represents personal opinions shaped by my experiences, and does not constitute professional advice. To individuals who are suffering from mental health issues, your sufferings are legitimate and we stand with you. :) Please seek professional help, too, where applicable.
As the Covid-19 pandemic sweeps the globe, with more than 1/3 of the world's population in partial or full lockdown, a spotlight has been cast on its effects on mental health.
While some are experiencing a situationally-induced depression, there are people amongst us who battle with more recurrent or persistent mental stresses, psychological disturbances, or emotional battles. It is to this group of individuals whom I address my post to today, as well as to the larger audience who may suffer from present bouts of grief, feelings of anxiety or hopelessness, and can ultimately cope with them by yourself. My post today may not be applicable to individuals subject to retraumatization, present-day abusive or toxic situations, or psychotic disorders that need to be treated with medication etc. My sharing also does not nullify your need for professional help should you need it.
Here's a post to help you manage the blues, which may be amplified by Covid-19 and the circuit breaker.
This post represents personal opinions shaped by my experiences, and does not constitute professional advice. To individuals who are suffering from mental health issues, your sufferings are legitimate and we stand with you. :) Please seek professional help, too, where applicable.
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| Pictured: The time I savoured ice cream in chilly weather in Vienna, 2019. |
While some are experiencing a situationally-induced depression, there are people amongst us who battle with more recurrent or persistent mental stresses, psychological disturbances, or emotional battles. It is to this group of individuals whom I address my post to today, as well as to the larger audience who may suffer from present bouts of grief, feelings of anxiety or hopelessness, and can ultimately cope with them by yourself. My post today may not be applicable to individuals subject to retraumatization, present-day abusive or toxic situations, or psychotic disorders that need to be treated with medication etc. My sharing also does not nullify your need for professional help should you need it.
My Personal Experiences:
Being an individual who is perfectionistic and self-critiques a lot, as well as having gone through past traumas of ostracism etc., I tend to encounter periods of self-defeating thoughts and grief. It's something that I've tussled with and I'm glad my family has always been supportive of me empowering others through my sharings, and I think my values compel me to do so too.
Being an individual who is perfectionistic and self-critiques a lot, as well as having gone through past traumas of ostracism etc., I tend to encounter periods of self-defeating thoughts and grief. It's something that I've tussled with and I'm glad my family has always been supportive of me empowering others through my sharings, and I think my values compel me to do so too.
Thus, today, I'd like to share a few strategies I've used to manage the inner storms when they arise and hope they will help you. These strategies are not short-term methods but enduring, because that's the longevity of empowerment I'd like you to have, in spite of periodic blues. :)
1) Accept & Recognize
Instead of berating yourself each time you feel down or unproductive (which really serves as a double whammy), accept the feelings for what they are and recognize that they can be just that - feelings. Never conflate your feelings about a situation when in a distressed state to unshakeable truths, because people are rarely objective when emotionally-charged.
Once you have accepted and recognized your feelings, you can then take appropriate action to address them and deal with them more swiftly.
2) Healthy Debate
I love good arguments and use them to my advantage. So when I find myself going into unconstructive thought category, I may challenge myself to a debate.
After all, what harm could there be if my negative feelings were true? Surely they can be subject to a good argument and still stand. Let me assure you that they rarely stand after I argue against myself from various creative angles. Remember the argumentative essays you used to write during your school days, when you could argue from any standpoint? You see - you can argue for (in a constructive manner) or against yourself. It may be better to go with the latter, because it helps you be productive with your energies rather than self-sabotage. You may want to try it sometime!
3) Imagine Worst Case Scenarios
Why would anyone want to do that, you may wonder. Well, because you rarely are in a worst case scenario, and while you have every right to mull over how terrible your situation seems to be, it's equally apt of you to examine how terrible it COULD be.
Amongst billions of situations out there, there will surely be circumstances much worse off than our own (at least from our perspective), and the great news is we don't have to search from a haystack to uncover them. Putting our situations into perspective helps us accept what we are feeling whilst learning to be grateful for the little we feel that we are blessed with. Investing our energies on gratitude and then leveraging on current advantages to expand on them paves our way to naturally progressing in life.
Why would anyone want to do that, you may wonder. Well, because you rarely are in a worst case scenario, and while you have every right to mull over how terrible your situation seems to be, it's equally apt of you to examine how terrible it COULD be.
Amongst billions of situations out there, there will surely be circumstances much worse off than our own (at least from our perspective), and the great news is we don't have to search from a haystack to uncover them. Putting our situations into perspective helps us accept what we are feeling whilst learning to be grateful for the little we feel that we are blessed with. Investing our energies on gratitude and then leveraging on current advantages to expand on them paves our way to naturally progressing in life.
4) Actions Over Feelings
I often found myself captive to my feelings until I took the power away from them, by confronting them squarely and THEN still engaging in actions that were constructive for me.
For instance, whilst I used to eat more junk food whenever I felt down, I tend to steer towards healthier activities like exercising and taking supplements now whenever I feel lousy. This is because I realized that caving in to feelings tends to bring one short term comforts whereas acting on constructive behaviours in spite of them builds a stronger foundation to overcome future storms. Healthier bodies give us greater immunity against stress-related health conditions.
Besides, your actions build or break your trust towards yourself. When you can trust yourself across a spectrum of emotions, you grow your confidence and capabilities.
I often found myself captive to my feelings until I took the power away from them, by confronting them squarely and THEN still engaging in actions that were constructive for me.
For instance, whilst I used to eat more junk food whenever I felt down, I tend to steer towards healthier activities like exercising and taking supplements now whenever I feel lousy. This is because I realized that caving in to feelings tends to bring one short term comforts whereas acting on constructive behaviours in spite of them builds a stronger foundation to overcome future storms. Healthier bodies give us greater immunity against stress-related health conditions.
Besides, your actions build or break your trust towards yourself. When you can trust yourself across a spectrum of emotions, you grow your confidence and capabilities.
5) Do what you fear most
This strategy is one of the most daunting, and should only be attempted with confidence.
My premise for this is that once you've confronted your fear/s, you either 1) realize that you don't fear it as much as before, or 2) you still fear it but you would feel extremely proud of yourself for having gone through it anyway.
This strategy is one of the most daunting, and should only be attempted with confidence.
My premise for this is that once you've confronted your fear/s, you either 1) realize that you don't fear it as much as before, or 2) you still fear it but you would feel extremely proud of yourself for having gone through it anyway.
6) Imagine that you are already experiencing the Worst Case Scenario
This strategy is contrary to point no. 4. Supposing you came to the resolute conclusion that whatever situation you are in is the worst it could be, ironically, you can afford to feel liberated.
Many people suffer from anxieties because they fear what the future holds. But fear has no hold over you when there's no uncertainty ahead. When you're at the bottom of the barrel, the only way forward is to maintain status quo or go up. And up is a very hopeful thought, indeed.
7) Take time to cry
Shortly before the circuit breaker was effected this year, I was suffering from bouts of insomnia. After delving into subconscious reasons for my stresses, I realized that at a behavioural level, I was at the top of my game (by doing everything I was supposed to), but at an emotional level, I wasn't keeping up.
Cry. Because if you aren't allowing yourself to process whatever is troubling you, it continues to bother you even without you actively engaging in it, sometimes somatically (as in the case of insomnia). In fact, there are alleged health benefits of crying backed by research studies. Emotional tears allegedly contain more stress hormones than reflex tears (such as when you yawn) and activates the parasympathetic nervous system that brings the body back to a state of balance. In short, you release stress through crying. It can be good for you when done appropriately.
8) Open up about what you feel to people you can trust
As above, there are cathartic effects of opening up and not suffocating yourself with unconstructive thoughts. Sometimes, you just need someone to bounce off your thoughts with so you'll realize how self-sabotaging you have been, or you could potentially receive more enlightening points of view from a person divorced from your emotional state.
When you feel better about a situation, you'd naturally feel empowered to take the right course of actions, which makes point no. 4 easier.
9) Use Visual Cues to feed your thoughts
If you find yourself gravitating to unconstructive thought patterns, disrupt those patterns. Your brain is malleable and you can re-wire your brain to think more positively. There has been research done to support the idea of brain plasticity, so this knowledge can be used in your favour.
In particular, I theorize that you can use visual cues to influence positive associations in your neural connections, hence forging Self Fulfilling Prophecies. Although these may not lead definitively to outcomes you want, they certainly increase the chances of you behaving in alignment to what you want and making your life so much more hopeful. For instance, I recently drew a timeline of my life.The X axis represents time and the Y axis represents good things I want. I drew the things I want growing bigger as a function of time. Each time I look at the drawing, even if I process it only subconsciously, there is a reinforcement to myself that my life improves with time. Since imagery captures one's imagination better than a string of words, it may be helpful to draw out your desired thought patterns or represent them graphically rather than just pen them down.
9) Use Visual Cues to feed your thoughts
If you find yourself gravitating to unconstructive thought patterns, disrupt those patterns. Your brain is malleable and you can re-wire your brain to think more positively. There has been research done to support the idea of brain plasticity, so this knowledge can be used in your favour.
In particular, I theorize that you can use visual cues to influence positive associations in your neural connections, hence forging Self Fulfilling Prophecies. Although these may not lead definitively to outcomes you want, they certainly increase the chances of you behaving in alignment to what you want and making your life so much more hopeful. For instance, I recently drew a timeline of my life.The X axis represents time and the Y axis represents good things I want. I drew the things I want growing bigger as a function of time. Each time I look at the drawing, even if I process it only subconsciously, there is a reinforcement to myself that my life improves with time. Since imagery captures one's imagination better than a string of words, it may be helpful to draw out your desired thought patterns or represent them graphically rather than just pen them down.
10) Feed your Brain
I do this both literally and figuratively. Although individuals feeling the blues may imagine that what they feel hails from the heart, the brain is in fact the crucial organ that releases chemicals (e.g. serotonin, endorphins) that influence our emotions.
This suggest that when we consume food that aid our brains in releasing more 'happy' chemicals, there's a good chance we will feel better. One superb food choice is dark chocolate, as it allegedly triggers the release of endorphines - essentially achieving the same effect as exercise.
I also feed my brain figuratively through seeking out activities that I'm passionate about. I'm extremely passionate about expressive writing and philosophy, so when I endeavour in those things, I sometimes experience a 'high' which I suspect others get from drinking or, heaven forbid, taking drugs (haha). Do healthy things that stimulate your brain so you will be happy!
11) Empower others
This final strategy is actually my favourite. When you feel hopeless about a given situation, the best remedy is to empower someone else. When you offer hope to others and they catch it, you'd feel more certain that a piece of hope exists for yourself, not to mention that your value-add to them would cause any feelings of worthlessness or lack of purpose to inevitably dissipate.
The best people to empower others are those who once needed to be empowered themselves, because knowledge can be learnt but empathy stems from experience. So your "down" times can make sense in light of the people you can help with them.
Take heart! <3
Till next time,
Meng Yee
The best people to empower others are those who once needed to be empowered themselves, because knowledge can be learnt but empathy stems from experience. So your "down" times can make sense in light of the people you can help with them.
Take heart! <3
Till next time,
Meng Yee
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